McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
The Bowery Review
Ernest Hemingway, Performative Male (Issue no. 5, print)
Welcome to Our Pumpkin Patch, Which Is Definitely Not Run by the Mob
Famous Poems Reworked Into Advertising Copy
What Happens When “Mic Check, One, Two” Isn’t Enough?
Increasingly Passive Aggressive Inactivity Alerts From My Oura Ring - named one of Weekly Humorist’s Best of 2025
Sentence Starters That Will Instantly Improve Your Mansplaining Skills - named one of Weekly Humorist’s Best of 2025
Creative Ways to Beat the Heat
Excerpts from Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, or from My Life as a Remote Worker?
Weekly Humorist
We’re Disrupting the Apple Orchard Industry
Valentine’s Day Notes from My Severely Color Blind Partner - Editor’s Pick, #1 trending piece in March, 2026
What I Imagine a Cyclist Thinks Will Happen If They Don't Wear Their Skin-Tight Outfit
NFL-Inspired Power Rankings for Everyone at My Family’s Thanksgiving
Husband Life: Heroic Fantasies Versus Reality
My Writing Style Is Best Described as a Cross Between Every Great Writer Ever